Monday, May 11, 2009

Koronets (a.k.a. I eat when I'm stressed)

So between the course of last night and this morning I finished a jar of peanut butter, about 10 bagels, a fair amount of oatmeal, ice cream, and a slice of Koronets. Lol no I didn't eat all of that because I'm stressed, actually no... I'm perhaps foolishly trying to maintain weight while losing fat... if that makes any sense (and I'm sure there are a lot of 'bros' who would say it doesn't), but that's besides the point. Anyway, I figured I would do well to pay tribute to the hole in wall that is known as Koronets before leaving for the summer. Plus I had a craving for pizza, what better way than to down a slice the size of your head?

The storefront like most on Broadway or Amsterdam is a small nook shop with only a plain orange awning to draw your attention. Which is to say it doesn't really draw your attention. Actually, most people probably wouldn't go here if it, not unlike Gourmet Deli, has a reputation on campus as a place that is open late, is cheap, and is good food for when you're drunk or out of your mind. My point is, the store is nothing to write home about (ironic that I'm still writing about it huh?), it has a couple of tables, and benches along the side blah blah blah. Their menu is pretty extensive, with jumbo slices, regular small slices, sicilian slices, and a host of generic toppings. They also have beef patties, which I would recommend against, stored in their small drink fridge and reheated upon request. Who would go here for anything aside from the plain jumbo slice though? Okay, maybe pepperoni... but the point stands, the star of the show is the giant slice. At $3.25 it's a considerable deal if you calculate by cost per square inch since it's literally the size of 2 regular pizzeria pizzas (not even $1 pizza can really compete). If you look at the picture, it's the obligatory dollar bill comparison. Actually I feel like it's gotten smaller, but whatever, it's still a behemoth in the pizza world. Also, sorry there's no pizza upskirt... if I tried that it would just flop so it's completely pointless. I will just tell you that there is no char, and often times it is undercooked and still doughy, but if you've been drinking... do you really think you'd care?

How is it? Well it's no DiFara's or Motorino pizza, hell I don't think it even stacks up well against Naples 45... but you're not paying for substance here. The fact that you get something so large that consists of flour, cheese, and sauce for $3.25 is all that matters. That said, it's a stomachable pizza. It tastes fine by all measures, the cheese is plentiful, the sauce is acceptable, and the crust is reasonably bready. It might be a tad oily, but hey... that's just a bonus, more calories for free (you have no clue how happy that makes me). If I was forced to give a midtown comparable... it would be just like stringing together a few of the $1 pizzas at Prince Deli. So would I go again? Yeah, I'm probably going again tonight for dinner haha, and I would suggest it to anyone in the area. If for no other reason, down 3 or 4 and it can be some sort of bragging right haha. I have one gripe though. When I got here Freshman year, the price per was a lean $2.75... and I feel like it was bigger (or maybe I got better at eating large quantities). That, was truly a deal. It's sad that the class of 2013 will never know true cheap eats from Koronets...

Weighing in at a tidy 152, so the weight is coming down gradually from that awful 158 mark. But if I'm losing weight, then I'm doing something wrong... perplexing.


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oh snap. I can control the text here?