Where I get my cheese and sauce on... (Motorino Pizza)

Sorry Philadelphia, you do plenty of things well... cheesesteaks, burgers, shit - even Korean food served from trucks! Shamefully, Philadelphia sucks the big one when it comes to good pizza (not the stuff that tastes good after drinking, since, let's be honest... it all tastes good after drinking). If you disagree with that statement, buy me a slice and prove me wrong, I'm not gonna waste more money on that endeavor. Basically I'm slice abstinent when I'm at Penn. That's months at a time! For shame. I just have no desire to eat shitty pizza when I have better options at hand. As a result, I get super excited every time I go back to NYC, where even the most mediocre pizza is better than the nonsense I can get from Allegro's. The last time I visited, I got mah cheese and sauce on at Motorino Pizza... home to what many consider the most sexual pizza pies in Manhattan. Oh lordy.

Like the bootleg lighting btw? I don't know why they can't turn on some damn lights inside. Maybe it's a "village" thing. Maybe harsh lighting hurts the delicate eyes of hipsters everywhere, and they have to accommodate for their local client base, but either way, I was super sad I had to make do with a candle.



And then I had to change my pants. There's lots of opinions on Motorino's pies, but the general consensus is that 1. they're good and 2. they're probably one of the best in the city. I tend to agree with both those assessments. Although the one comment I will add is that it's a bit too rich for my tastes. I mean... $16 for a pie the size of a dinner plate? It'd take at LEAST three to constitute a full meal. I'm not made of money! I like my pizza cheap and greasy! I will make an exception occasionally for exceptional pizza though, and this stuff is the shit. You know how you know it's good? Because the pies all have funny names that I can't really pronounce. That's the mark of quality - truth.

Final tally of the damage... margherita, soppressata piccante, brussels sprouts & pancetta, and cremini & spicy sausage. That's right... four pies, because there's no point in eating if I'm not eating a lot. In any case, the order was split between five people... so it's not exactly me being a fat bastard all by myself. In reality, I didn't even get to have that much pizza...

The margherita was pretty erotic to be honest. It's nothing complex, just plain good crust... thin, chewy, and beautifully charred, supporting a sea of amazing cheese, sauce that was perfectly sweet yet tart, and pungent basil. The flavors blend together magically. If there's a comparable experience... it'd be similar to the first time you taste pizza - regardless of how shitty it was - it just tastes... right.



Brussels sprouts and pancetta... what is there to say about this pie? It's vegetables and what's basically flavored bacon. It basically rapes your mouth with flavors in ways you're not even sure you like (but I promise you will). Same great crust, slightly more in your face with the saltiness, it's really like a pizza combined with bacon salad on top. That sounds good to you too right?

The other two pies were good too... maybe too good. I never actually got a chance at photos before they were violated indecently by other people. I did like the spicy sausage (although it wasn't very spicy) and the soppressata (kind of like the pancetta sans the healthy part). Since they're all built on the same familiar formula, there's not much downside to any of them. I like Motorino. Sure I could buy 75 McNuggets for the same price, but I don't think it'd bring me the same sort of pleasure as rubbing mozzarella laced basil all over my face.
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Cheese pies and cheesecake (Allegro Pizza)

Cheap hole in the wall pizza plays a major role in my life. When I was at Columbia, I had Koronet, Pinnacle, and Famiglia, all located within a few blocks of each other. None of them were fantastic, in fact, barely passable would probably be a more appropriate description, but none of that really mattered to me in the middle of the night. When hunger struck, all I wanted was some form of dough, sauce, and cheese... in that order. Like an addict, I needed to fill that same void in Philly too. I had to find another source of cheap, dirty, pleasure, in the form of carbohydrates and dairy... and oh I did. That place is Allegro Pizza.



For $11, you can get a pretty sizable 16" pie. That's 201 square inches (rounding down for arguments sake) of pizza, or roughly 18 square inches per dollar. That's actually better than Koronet, given how wack their pricing scheme has been lately. In any case, while I'm pretty sure no one would consider their plain slices anything spectacular, it's a pretty good deal.



Their slices are pretty standard. Thin average crust with nondescript sauce and cheese. Nothing to write home about (yet... here I am writing about it?). Not that there's anything wrong with that. It's tasty, but I don't know if I'd say it was a sensual experience or anything close, but it definitely fills that void. You know what I'm talking about... that hole in your heart that yearns for a slice of cheap pizza that can only be characterized as average at best. Oh yes, I've found my pleasure palace of pizza in University City.



I don't know what I was thinking when I got this. I was tempted by a fridge full of cheesecake after lunch. It seemed like a pretty good idea at the time, but it was pretty fail. For $3.75 (which feels pretty expensive actually), the cheesecake is more dry and crumbly than thick and decadent, and the sauce is more chemical flavoring than actual strawberries. For how it looks, it's deceptively disappointing. I guess that's what happens when you get cheesecake at a pizzeria. Oh well, doesn't make their slices any worse, and that shit is what really matters anyway.
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Apple pie pizza (Pizza Hut)

A lot of people hate dessert pizzas, and a lot of people hate Pizza Hut... ergo a lot of people will hate this post. In Taiwan's Pizza Hut buffet, you pay 299 NT (~$9) to go apeshit on an assortment of pizzas. The selection is hardly ordinary, with okonomiyaki, Hawaiian pork, pepper steak, General Tso's chicken, and Korean kimchi BBQ gracing the frequently rotating menu (oh, and they serve roast chicken too!). Maybe I've become desensitized to how special some of these flavor combos are, but no, the thing that caught my eye was the synergy between apple pie filling and pan pizza crust. I present you... the apple pie pizza.

To say it's life-changing would be a lie, but to deny that it tastes good would be an injustice. To summarize all that goes on in this culinary jewel, a slightly undercooked pan pizza crust is topped with an ever so thin layer of cheese, followed by caramelized soft apple pie filling, and glazed over with a light sugar syrup, which has a delightfully cinnamon flavor. Yes, the crust is still a tad oily (as are all pan pizzas from Pizza Hut), and the apple topping might have been a shade too sweet, but it's cheesy apple pie bread... there's no way that mix of ingredients isn't 100 sorts of incredible.
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Napoli Pizza (where fried chicken meets mayonnaise)

At a chain pizza place in Taiwan called 'Napoli Pizza,' there exists such a topping combination that is fried chicken and Kewpie mayo (the 洋食黃金脆雞披薩 Popcorn Chicken Pizza). While this isn't really that special for anyone who lives in Taiwan, since they regularly see things such as abalone and octopus gracing the tops of their pies, it surely was impressive to me, since I actually make it a goal of mine to see my doctor cringe. For 299 NT (~$9... although it's often on sale for 199 NT) you get a pan pizza similar in consistency and taste to Pizza Hut's, oily, thick, and rather bread like, which is then topped with their 'popcorn chicken' and a lattice of delicately drawn on mayo. How was this abomination of a pizza?

Surprisingly good actually. Their popcorn chicken is actually nothing like what you'd get from Popeye's or KFC, but rather like chicken nugget pieces, which have an odd Japanese curry aftertaste (this was unexpected, but rather refreshing). Combined with onions, peppers, and 'black pepper' Kewpie mayo, you end up with a synergy of sweet, mild spiciness, and savory. No, it's true, this isn't a 'gourmet' offering by any means, but for ~$6-9, it's certainly edible, and definitely different than most pizza places would offer in the US. I would say it's worth trying at the very least, but then again, I'm no pizza snob. I'll eat pretty much anything with cheese, sauce, and crust.
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Pizza cones (eZ's Pizza)

As I perused the very same street fair where I found the durian ice cream, my eyes were instantly blinded by a giant chrome sign that had the word 'pizza' plastered on it. Okay, maybe that didn't happen, but I did take an extra glance at the stand it occupied. Pizza isn't overly popular in Taiwan, at least, not to the extent that it is in the United States, so when I come across places that serve pizza not named 'Pizza Hut' or 'Domino's,' I'm usually pretty fascinated by their offerings (when you consider the fact that they have abalone and mayo as standard toppings here, I usually expect a lot more from other places). Thus I present to you 'eZ's Pizza,' which stuffs cheese, sauce, and toppings into a cone for what they describe as a 'clean and on the go slice.' See Slice for more in depth details/for some background.



Actually, the real reason I stopped was because of the billboard. I won't lie, those pictures make the product look pretty sick. The flavor combos in Taiwan didn't fail to impress, as they stepped up toppings to include shrimp, corn, pineapple, and the full assortment of ice cream flavors you'd expect to find at 'Chinatown Ice Cream Factory.' They get bonus points for not using grilled chicken, but rather teriyaki chicken... I guess they cater to the clientele on each continent individually. Anyway, I was pretty hungry, and nothing else there really looked all that appealing. I figured that it only cost 50 NT ($1.50) so it was cheap enough to waste money on.



Hrm, how did it taste...? Well, unlike Adam's cone that he got in NYC, the outer crust wasn't like a pastry at all. It was actually a decent representation of the pan pizza crust at 'Pizza Hut,' straight down to the fact that it made the inner layer of my napkin translucent. I ordered the salami cone, just so that I'd have something a bit more familiar to compare with normal slices, but was greeted by several layers of cheese, sauce, thinly sliced salami, and... corn? Yeah, Chinese people love corn. That doesn't mean I want it in my pizza cone thinger. Minor gripe, get over it, I know. Anyway, if you read the SE article, it's basically true... it's not as good as a regular slice (although mine didn't cost $4.90), it's layers of pizza topping that get baked repeatedly in a convection oven, then stuffed inside a breadlike crust. Was it good? Meh, not really. Was it awful? Wouldn't go that far either. Let's just say I basically paid 50 NT to take pictures of it, and that I would never buy it again. One last complaint... my cone does not look anything like those on that billboard, hrmph.
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Bacon pizza (not what you'd think)

So now that I've finished my backlog of posts on Taiwan, I can finally get around to posting about the stuff that I actually ate during the year (not overly exciting for the most part). My suitemate and I got into a lot of baking at the beginning of the year, so I'm probably going to knock out those things first. This list... starts with a bacon pizza. What you see above is the final product. Although I must warn you that when I say bacon pizza, it's not as simple as it seems. Since we made this from scratch, we were able to take some, let's call them liberties.



We first started by making dough from scratch. With a recipe borrowed from somewhere on the Slice website. Really simple, basically the standard mix of flour (although we had to use a lot of whole wheat when we ran low on white), sugar, salt, yeast. Mix it all together, beat the crap out of it and let it rise. Since this was in the dead of winter (yes, a long time ago), and Columbia doesn't know how to regulate heating/cooling relative to the seasons, we borrowed the heat lamp from our turtles to make our dough rise. SORRY GUYS!



While we were waiting for our dough rise, and oh did we wait, we prepped a full package of thick cut bacon. By our estimation, the baking time in the oven wouldn't suffice to cook through the bacon, and we wanted a crispy topping, not a soggy strip of bacon that wouldn't break. Let's be honest, the thought of gnawing on semi-cooked strips of pork fat isn't very appetizing.



We also took some sweet Italian sausage and separated it from the casings, crumbled it, and pan fried it until it was just browned. It was a group consensus that a single type of meat on pizza was somewhat weak. I think this was actually cooked in the bacon fat, so that it would infuse the flavor. To be completely honest, I don't think it made a difference, but it sounded good in theory.



What post of pizza baking would be complete without a picture of Chris shredding cheese (obviously taken without him knowing). I will probably be murdered in a few hours for posting this. Worth it.



And there is our crust, post rising, and post beating. It was recommended that the dough be separated into 3 smaller pizzas, but when we were rolling it out, it seemed to tear way too easily. In retrospect, post baking, it rose quite a bit, and even though our pan was way larger in area than a traditional circular pan, it would've been smart to split it into 2 batches. Whatever, it ended up being a super thick pizza, although it wasn't overly doughy. We would've eaten it one way or another, so it's really a moot point, but note to self... scale back dough for singular pizza. Oh, and if you have a really sharp eye, I'm sure you can notice that our crust is actually lined with bacon. That wasn't on purpose, I just did a craptacular job of tucking it in.



What post about baking pizza would be complete without a picture of Daven being 100% useless and continuously throwing up peace signs. If there were an award for the most Asian white person, he would win it. For real, his Chinese is probably as good as mine, and he's even better at Japanese.



And... the pizza ready to bake. We should've used green peppers. There's all too much red on this pizza between the sauce, sausage, and peppers. Did I mention that we used an entire pack of cheese on this beauty? I think the final thing probably weighed close to 5+ pounds between the dough, cheese, sauce, and other crap that we added. Easily finished between 3 (yes it was just the 3 of us... shut up). It was delicious and I kind of want to do this again before the end of the year. I'm also tagging this as a recipe (questionably haha).
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This is why I'm hot... I mean fat

I'm not actually sure how to tag this... does this count as a slice? Or a recipe? Anyway, I'm finally coming back to this post, partially because I'm bored, partially because it really annoys me to see a mishmash of pictures on the front page of my blog. Anyway, if you know me... you know that I jizz in my pants love the 'Spicy Special' at the deli found at 109th and Amsterdam. It's also no secret that I love Koronet's despite their absurd yearly price hikes (seriously, class of 2012 and on... you have no clue how glorious it was when the jumbo slice was $2.75). It would only make sense that the 2 things belong together, considering their close geographical vicinity. I can't claim credit for this, as someone on my team actually did this before I did, but I do have to say that the combo sandwich roll is a thing of beauty.


So this is how it works... two things that are incredible individually get rolled together. Simple as that. I know a lot of people find this disgusting, that the thought of a Koronet's slice is enough for a meal and then some. Same thing for the 'Spicy Special.' Well guess what, I'm a fatty and I happen to consider this a very balanced meal.



End result prior to rolling. Actually since then I've found a better way to do this (inspired by my ohsowhite friend Davenport). For each half of the sandwich, you cut the slice down the middle, parallel to the crust, not along the bias. By doing so, you can effectively roll the sandwich 1.5x around for a nice thin pizza shell. As far as how it tastes, imagine having tomato sauce and hot cheese before hitting a nice center crust of toasted bread... then reaching a perfect mix of mayo, pepper jack cheese, and hot turkey. It's pretty much like eating a pizza with the toppings of a sub... but with more carbs. If that doesn't sound awesome to you, then... I'm sorry, you're probably dead to me. The synergy of double cheese, and artery clogging oils is undoubtedly one of my favorite meals in Morningside. The kicker? Total price... $8.50.
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Pizza... take 2

So on another day of boredom, Chris and I decided to make another pizza. Partially because our first one was pretty damn awesome, but also partially because our crust was overly... pillowy the first time. Anyway, experimentation is always good. This time we found another pizza crust recipe, of which I'm not sure of the details (this was all Chris), which called for us to make our dough, let it rise, beat it down... basically the same routine as any other dough. This one differed from our last mainly because it asked us to bake for 15 minutes prior to adding sauce and cheese. So we went about our business, made our dough, heated it beneath the heat lamp (borrowed from the turtles), and baked it. Oh yeah, this time we had a pizza stone. Maybe that helped a little. Maybe.


See our dough... laid out freehand on the pizza stone, dusted lightly with basil and coated with olive oil (I think there's something I'm forgetting since I distinctly remember seeing Chris crumbling something). It looks so... naked. I failed to snap a picture of the baked crust, but there was a moment of worry when we saw a giant bubble in the oven. I proceeded to pop and flatten that, and also burn myself. My hand hates me btw. There's also probably the element of my impatience to add to that equation. I was in a real hurry to pile on sauce and toppings, so I completely forgot about pictures.


Look at Chris go. I don't think he ever realizes I'm taking pictures until they show up on my blog. For the record, if he looks dazed, it's because I had just woken him up 5 minutes before that so we could continue our pizza making.


Pizza is no longer naked. We liberally spread sauce, 1/2 a pound of mozzarella cheese (shredded by Chris), sausage, green peppers, and chunks of chicken breast. I know what you're thinking... this is stupid not too exciting, those are boring/traditional toppings. Well you know what? This is my blog, and I'll post stupid stuff as much as I want.


Into the oven that went, and 10 minutes later, we were greeted by this gorgeous, non-symmetrical pie. You know, I think I liked how this one looked better than the perfectly rectangular pie we were planning on making. It has character.

Also, btw... to the person who made me listen to Miley Cyrus/Taylor Swift... if you're reading this, I absolutely hate you. It's really embarrassing when someone walks in when I'm listening to 'Party in the USA.'
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The absurdity of Koronets Pizza

Remember that giant slice from Koronet's? Yeah, well Dominic came up with this awesome idea of getting a full pie. Just because it'd be super epic. Or as Daven would say... "stupid epic." Anyhoo, enjoy the picture of the pie in all its glory. Total cost was $31.50, but only because we got a full pie + 1 slice for Chris haha. The plan was for Dom and myself to finish 4 slices a person, but after pulling a 5k moderately hard, I could only bring myself to eat 3... which is not to say I couldn't have more, just I didn't want to feel like crap after eating. Contrary to popular belief, I actually like enjoying my food. Why did we get Koronet's instead of going to that place in Brooklyn? Well... because Davenport Sutton had a 40 page thesis he had to submit, and we felt guilty going without him. Super brolove.


Dom with the pie, I have to give him full credit as getting Koronet's was his idea. Pretty winner. Almost as much win as spandex. Almost.


Oh, and there's me with the pie. Just as a mention, it should be noted that the Brooklyn pizza challenge is a 16" pie to be completed within 10 minutes. That is approximately 201.06 square inches in pizza. Koronet's slices are 14" in radius, therefore, with 3 slices, we're already looking at 230.91 square inches of pizza. I did not finish in 10 minutes, but I did do so in roughly 30, savoring every single last inch of greasy cheese. Rocco's pizza... come January, I'ma make you my bitch.
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Why yes... I would like hot dogs in my crust

So those Asians... (I mean we Asians) really know how to change something. Not always for the better I might add. I like pizza. I really do. As one of those comfort foods when I'm crazy stressed, I don't think there's anything that can really match pizza. So whenever I'm given a chance to try a twist on it, I'll always be open to it. That's where Pizza Hut in Taiwan steps in. Over the Summer, they had this promotion called the 摩天倫(?) or 'mo tian lun.' If I'm wrong on that, someone please correct me. Basically it was a pizza that had hot dogs in the crust. If that were it, I don't think it'd be that special. No, on top of that was a pizza filled with ham, broccoli, cheese, and get this... Kewpie mayo and scrambled eggs. Yeah. Let that sink in for a second. It sounds disgusting right? Oh it is. The hot dogs were cool, it saved me the trouble of having to get hot dogs in Taiwan, and I love the Kewpie mayo, but I could do without eggs.


We also got a Kimchi Beef pizza, since it was b1g1. I think the total order came out to something like 699 NT ($23) for 2 pizzas, a thing of wings, and another of star shaped tater tots (which were really just frozen and refried). The Kimchi Beef pizza was pretty good. Instead of using tomato sauce, they use sweet bean paste, so it adds a semisweet aspect to a traditionally savory dish. It's not for everyone, but I certainly liked the twist.


Just an side comment... their wings suck. You get like 5 pieces of the smallest drumsticks and wings possible. They're also kind of cold. Seriously not worth it if you have to spend extra to get them.
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More crap I eat at school (baking surprise)

More of a teaser post than anything, I'll update later on... if you can guess what it is (and you aren't already aware), then I'll give you a prize. Serious. In another installment of 'Crap I eat at school...,' Chris and I decide to make another dinner that I'm pretty sure almost every person we know would call disgusting. Our glorious concoction was one in which there was an overabundance of bacon, hot sausage, way too much bell pepper, and really a bit too much of everything. It was a starchy mess that, strangely enough, included graham cracker crust (meant for pie baking). Are you confused yet? Yeah so am I. In any case, we set out for Appletree Deli, our new go to supermarket (screw you Morton Williams and your outrageous price gouging! I'm well aware you get all your crap from Shoprite), and collected our ingredients and began to go to work. For the record, this wasn't some sort of intimate experience Chris and I shared alone, but rather... a gathering of 'has been' rowers, as we were joined by Davenport (who I should mention has the coolest name I've ever heard), and Dominic. Really it was a sausagefest brofest more than anything else.


I'm also including another photo of Chris', so whoever keeps clicking on his picture can continue clicking *wink. So I'm finally getting around to finishing this post. Have you figured out what we made yet? Yeah, homemade pizza. I actually have no clue what went into the crust, Chris handled that part, the toppings though... all me baby.


So yeah... we made a lot of dough, I think we actually doubled the recipe given on some random site. When it came time to roll it out into our baking pan, it felt really thin and weak. It was really a struggle to get it to stretch to the edges, but after baking, we realized we basically made a pan pizza. The dough was not as we expected at all... that is to say, thin, slightly charred, and kind of crunchy.


Um... this is my friend Daven. He is hands down the most Asian white person I know. He speaks Japanese and Chinese that could probably rival my own. How did I come across such a character? Former rower. In addition to being one of my favorite people to talk to about Japanese or Chinese culture, or random stuff in general, he's also one of the few people who will openly try virtually any Asian food I find. Oh, and he's also the jerk who started me on my killer 20k erg a day program last year. I really should thank him and Chris for helping me shed myoutterfatty. Look at the picture, did I mention he's really Asian?


Right before we shoved her in the oven. Just a final rundown on our awesome ass pizza. Start with enough dough for 3 pizzas and stretch them over a baking pan dusted with graham cracker crumbs (no flour, that can be construed as healthy). The dough should seem like it's not enough, but trust me, it's plenty. Top this with a full jar of pizza sauce... which I think was supposed to be enough for, you guessed it, 3 pizzas. Spread on half a pound of mozzarella... a.k.a. the entire package. This only happened because our 'back of the envelope calculations' suck ass (not mine, I never took Frontiers of Science). Throw on 3 strips of bacon, browned enough to crumble, stuff 4 more strips of bacon into the crust :D... secret twist there. Then brown an entire red pepper and 2 hot sausages in said bacon's fat, and throw all that on too. Bake for... I actually forget how long, until it looks right, and voila. You're well on your way to becoming obese.


There's the final product on the left, and the up close shot of the crust, so there's proof I actually stuffed bacon in there. How was it? Excellent. The crunchy bacon provided a nice contextual contrast to the soft pillowy crust we had made. The sausage and peppers gave just enough heat to offer a variation on plain bacon pizza, and the bacon in the crust... ugh, just a nice way to finish off a slice. Come to think of it, I wish every one of my meals ended with bacon. Oh wait...
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Peking duck pizza, are you kidding?

Okay, so this'll be a really short post, since I'm just waiting for my lazy friend to wake up so we can go biking... but, trust me... it's a good one. In America, people are used to large warehouse type places like Costco or Sam's Club, but in Taiwan, where there is a distinct shortage of real estate, megastores that sell things in bulk are pretty hard to come by. Enter Costo of Taiwan. Same thing, slightly smaller, but still huge in the eyes of Taiwanese people [insert dirty joke here], the only thing that's changed? The stuff you buy in bulk isn't boxed mac and cheese, but rather... Pocky (a multitude of flavors btw), Calpico, or you know... Heysong sarsaparilla instead of Coca Cola. Oh, I forgot to mention, their food court is drastically different as well. How you ask? Look at the picture in the upper left hand corner... yea it looks just like a regular pizza, except... it's covered in Peking duck! Instead of tomato sauce, try 甜麵醬 (er, I don't know how to translate that, it's the sauce you put into those thin pancakes when you have Peking duck). Then to replace normal onions, you have scallions. To be fair, the pizza wasn't amazing, the crust was kind of soggy (I did carry two boxes back from 10 miles away on the back of one of those Vespa scooters, so you'll have to be understanding), it was overly doughy, and lacked the char on the bottom. Whatever, you find me a Peking duck pizza, and I don't care if the crust tastes like cardboard, I will still eat it. So undoubtedly I'll recommend this to anyone I know, don't get your hopes up that the pizza itself is amazing, but the novelty of it still hasn't worn off.

Also on a complete tangent, I'm really sorry to the Asian woman I plowed ran into at Central Park yesterday. I realize it was a walk sign, but the whole stop go thing really threw me off. The probability of you reading this is virtually nil, but my conscience tells me to post this.
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Koronets (a.k.a. I eat when I'm stressed)

So between the course of last night and this morning I finished a jar of peanut butter, about 10 bagels, a fair amount of oatmeal, ice cream, and a slice of Koronets. Lol no I didn't eat all of that because I'm stressed, actually no... I'm perhaps foolishly trying to maintain weight while losing fat... if that makes any sense (and I'm sure there are a lot of 'bros' who would say it doesn't), but that's besides the point. Anyway, I figured I would do well to pay tribute to the hole in wall that is known as Koronets before leaving for the summer. Plus I had a craving for pizza, what better way than to down a slice the size of your head?

The storefront like most on Broadway or Amsterdam is a small nook shop with only a plain orange awning to draw your attention. Which is to say it doesn't really draw your attention. Actually, most people probably wouldn't go here if it, not unlike Gourmet Deli, has a reputation on campus as a place that is open late, is cheap, and is good food for when you're drunk or out of your mind. My point is, the store is nothing to write home about (ironic that I'm still writing about it huh?), it has a couple of tables, and benches along the side blah blah blah. Their menu is pretty extensive, with jumbo slices, regular small slices, sicilian slices, and a host of generic toppings. They also have beef patties, which I would recommend against, stored in their small drink fridge and reheated upon request. Who would go here for anything aside from the plain jumbo slice though? Okay, maybe pepperoni... but the point stands, the star of the show is the giant slice. At $3.25 it's a considerable deal if you calculate by cost per square inch since it's literally the size of 2 regular pizzeria pizzas (not even $1 pizza can really compete). If you look at the picture, it's the obligatory dollar bill comparison. Actually I feel like it's gotten smaller, but whatever, it's still a behemoth in the pizza world. Also, sorry there's no pizza upskirt... if I tried that it would just flop so it's completely pointless. I will just tell you that there is no char, and often times it is undercooked and still doughy, but if you've been drinking... do you really think you'd care?

How is it? Well it's no DiFara's or Motorino pizza, hell I don't think it even stacks up well against Naples 45... but you're not paying for substance here. The fact that you get something so large that consists of flour, cheese, and sauce for $3.25 is all that matters. That said, it's a stomachable pizza. It tastes fine by all measures, the cheese is plentiful, the sauce is acceptable, and the crust is reasonably bready. It might be a tad oily, but hey... that's just a bonus, more calories for free (you have no clue how happy that makes me). If I was forced to give a midtown comparable... it would be just like stringing together a few of the $1 pizzas at Prince Deli. So would I go again? Yeah, I'm probably going again tonight for dinner haha, and I would suggest it to anyone in the area. If for no other reason, down 3 or 4 and it can be some sort of bragging right haha. I have one gripe though. When I got here Freshman year, the price per was a lean $2.75... and I feel like it was bigger (or maybe I got better at eating large quantities). That, was truly a deal. It's sad that the class of 2013 will never know true cheap eats from Koronets...

Weighing in at a tidy 152, so the weight is coming down gradually from that awful 158 mark. But if I'm losing weight, then I'm doing something wrong... perplexing.
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Lazzara's Pizza review done proper

It's Saturday afternoon and I'm actually just posting this now because I don't want to start a problem set, so here goes. A few weeks back, I made a post that referenced Lazzara's, a fairly well known and beloved midtown joint. Known for their thin, not quite Sicilian, square slices, Lazzara's has become one of my favorite midtown slices ever since my first encounter about a month ago. At $1.85 a slice, it's certainly not an expensive or overly fancy place, but for the size of the slice it's definitely not what I'd consider a true cheap eat. I felt like I owed it myself to make the trip to the actual pizza place and grab a slice as it should be... fresh from the oven.

So after someone had graciously left a few boxes of cold cheese pies in the American Express kitchen a few weeks ago, I've pretty much been craving a few of these little slices, and I knew I wouldn't be satisfied until I got to enjoy them hot once again. Wayne and I made our early lunch trek over to the 43rd and 9th location of Lazzara's (there is also one on 38th), since I have a retarded schedule that includes a 1:10 class. First off, we went by midtownlunch's directions, which said it was between 44th and 45th... not really... it's on the corner of 43rd... semi fail number one, but no big deal. We arrived at 11:22, not realizing that they don't even open for lunch until 11:30... semi fail number two. Is this the making of another day where everything would go wrong?!



Anyway, we order up a full cheese pie for $8.99 and one chicken parm for $9 (with free drink!), a bit expensive, but it's midtown... what do you expect? Both of these are part of their 'recession special' menu, along with an option to buy a coke and get a $.99 slice + $1.50 for every additional. We decide to split the chicken parm and the pizza... I ended up bringing home a couple slices for my mom, since she always says I never bring her food.



The chicken parmigiana arrived first, and it was absolutely terrific. I had read about Lazzara's chicken parm on midtownlunch as part of their search for the best in midtown. It wasn't the crowd favorite, so I had my doubts, but it's definitely a good sandwich. At $9 I was primed for disappointment, but what arrived was beyond my heightened expectations. First thing to note, the size... it's a big sandwich. From the picture it's pretty easy to see that each half is almost the length of an average paper plate, easily besting most normal sandwiches from a generic deli (Wayne and I both agreed it would make an adequate meal on its own). So far so good in terms of value. Next came the quality of the bread. What's to say, it comes on an hoagie roll, studded with sesame seeds, that's been lightly toasted. It definitely wasn't too crunchy or soggy under the weight of the marinara sauce. Now... the ultimate test... the one thing that can ruin a chicken parm... the innards. The chicken was pounded nice and thin, adequate in quantity and piping hot, the sauce was plentiful, but not overpowering, and the cheese was evenly melted and not terribly stringy. Overall it was a glorious mess of flavor that really did ooze when bitten into. Parmigiana success. How were the slices? No comment. Seriously, I don't feel like I have to justify how good they are (see here). Actually, I'll append to that post with a single thought... I thought I had enjoyed one of the best slices in midtown back then, but that was before it was served up hot. As I bit into the slice... there was an unadulterated symphony of cheese and tomato flavor in my mouth (okay, so I went heavy on the garlic and chili peppers too). In conclusion, it is without reservation that I recommend this hole in the wall pizza place by saying... Lazzara's is probably my favorite slice in midtown... so far.
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