Mmmmm... fish paste (頂級甜不辣)

I posted about 甜不辣 (tian bu la) before, at a place my mom used to eat at when she was in high school. I also mentioned that I used to hate anything that came from within feet of water with a furious passion. Well, I've grown to embrace most types of seafood, going so far as to eat them despite knowing that I'd break out in hives at night. My favorite (aside from the fried octopus balls of course) is probably this. I'm too lazy to rehash exactly what 甜不辣 encompasses, you can hit the link at the top to read about it, I'll just introduce a bootleg stand that I found that makes one of the best versions I've ever had. Located near 龍山寺 (Long Shan Temple) exists a 4-way intersection of the 2 main streets that encompass the night market. On this corner, you will find a giant yellow sign with the characters 頂級甜不辣 (Ding Ji Tian Bu La), which roughly translates to 'top quality tempura.' If you looked at their 'operation,' it comprises simply of a stand, a bunch of cheap plastic tables out in the middle of the street, and wobbly metal stand chairs, fenced off with cheap twine... no lie. In all honesty, it screams insanitary, and it is devoid of any charm whatsoever. What made me sit down is beyond me. I'm sure glad I did though...


For 40 NT ($1.25) you can pick up a small, but for 55 NT ($1.75) you can pick up a large, which is probably twice the size. Inside you get the same variety of differently shaped tempura which are deep fried, then cooked in diakon broth, as well as some fishballs, meatballs, daikon radishes, and of course... the 'sauce.' The tempura here is unrefined, unlike that at Simon's, with textural oddities that remind you that fish... probably shouldn't be in paste form. While that was the plus at Simon's, this homemade quality manifests itself as an indication of quality in my opinion. The tempura were delightfully springy, moderately oily, and the fish taste carried well, despite being masked by the sauce. Oh my, the sauce. This is the one place that makes Simon's look bad. Sure... it's simple mixing miso, sugar, soy, and chili paste (and let's be honest, MSG), but they managed to do it in such a fashion that the flavor started off entirely sweet and ending with a spicy aftertaste. Not sure how, don't really care, it was delicious. As far as the leftover sauce, of course they'll let you fill your cup with soup broth, which makes for the complete meal. Moral of the story, go here. I will actually go out of my way to say you should make an out of the way trip to look for this place. Unless you're some sort of mega germaphobe, I promise you won't be disappointed.
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Variations on fried fish paste (賽門甜不辣)

I have a real love-hate relationship with tempura (甜不辣), in the sense that I love to eat it, but it hates me in the form of a very minor seafood allergen that makes me itch like mad (anytime you see a post about something that came from the sea, please realize, I probably regretted that decision very much that night). Anyway, enough about me and my allergies... there are more important matters at hand... like what happens when you make giant patties of fish paste and fry them. Answer... you get something called 天婦羅 (tian fu luo), which are pretty much the same as 甜不辣 (tian bu la), but are fried... so way more awesome. I think?

Bought from the very same 賽門甜不辣, for 50 NT (~$1.50) you get the dish seen above. It's basically 2 larger pieces of tempura that are deep fried until a golden crust develops, cut into slices, and served with the same orange-brown miso based sauce. They do have a fantastic crust, which is nice and different from the soup based tempura, and the inside is chock full of burdock root, so the textural nuances continue throughout, but taste-wise, they're more or less identical to 甜不辣 (and it's still the sauce that makes everything right in the end). I like the fact that they're fried, but they're not nearly as incredible as I thought they'd be. Sadness right?



Normal tempura! Of course I got both. The fat kid on my shoulder insisted. Except this time wasn't nearly as good as the last time I came. Maybe it's because I've experienced the same dish at a multitude of different places since, or maybe the novelty of glorified fish sticks is wearing off, but it just wasn't as phenomenal as I remembered it to be. Don't get me wrong, it's still good. Just not something I'd return to for a while.
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Taiwanese pork chops and fried chicken (便當 Bian Dang Truck)

I bet you thought that I'd lost interest in writing about Chinese food that comes from trucks since I haven't done it in forever. HA were you wrong! My favorite kinds of food are Asian foods, and the best foods always come from trucks. Fact. Luckily for me, the 便當 Bian Dang Truck combines both of those things. Their niche? They make "traditional" Taiwanese bento boxes from which you can choose either pork chop, fried chicken, fishcake, or several other appetizers my forefathers often delighted in like 粽子 (zong zi). Basically they have several things going for them... the nostalgia factor, the fact that they make food from the Orient, and the fact that they do it all from the back of a flamboyantly colored truck (the greatest kind of coloring). Basically this is a truck that fries pigs and chickens and puts it over rice. In theory, this truck is packing so much win. When I caught wind that they were selling their pork chop and fried chicken dishes for $5 one week, I felt obligated to at least try it.



The menu! Again, The main things are the fried chicken leg and the pork chop over rice. They have 甜不辣 (tian bu la) too, but after trying it at Food Gallery 32... let me safely say that it tastes like crap. Do you know why people don't eat erasers? Because they don't taste good. That is basically what you're eating, an eraser that is brushed with oil and reheated in a microwave. If that sounds good to you, more power to ya! Get the fishcake. Otherwise, steer clear. The rest of the menu is pretty conservative in terms of Taiwanese fare. Sorry, I'll never be able to tell you how the 滷肉飯 (minced pork over rice) is solely based on principle. A dish that costs 60 cents in Taiwan should not cost $4. I don't care if it's NYC, that just doesn't gel with me.



Ah yes, the special of the week and the star of the menu. The pork chop over rice. There's not much to complain about in the base of this delicious construction. The rice is cooked properly, and when combined with the pork sauce/pickled veggie mix... well, it's awesome. There's not much to say about that. The pork chop is no slouch either, not the deep-fried kind you'll find at Hua Ji, 便當 Bian Dang Truck's version is tender, juicy, and slathered with a subtle yet noticeably sweet thick soy sauce marinade. Cooked long enough for the meat to separate easily from the bone, but short enough to maintain structural integrity, these guys know how to cook their pigs. At $5, I liked it enough to change my clothes, go back, and circumvent their whole "ONE DEAL PER CUSTOMER" nonsense. Yep, the stupid things I do for food.



Everyone knows that meals that consist of multiple types of meats are the best kinds of meals. Turducken, bacon chicken narwhals, McDonald's McNuggets (god knows what goes into those...). The Bian Dang Truck also serves something not listed on their menu known as "Porken." You're probably wondering... "what is this shit, and why isn't on the menu?" Well, it's basically a combination of their two most popular dishes, the fried chicken and the pork chop. Starting with a pillow-y soft bed of white rice, you drizzle on a heap of pork sauce and pickled vegetables, then you get half-a-piece of the fried chicken and half-a-piece of the pork chop... all for $8 (note: this deal used to be so much better when they'd give you the whole pork chop/chicken). Admittedly, it's not that great. The pork chop is definitely good (as it should be), and I've never met a bowl of rice w/pork sauce I didn't like, but the fried chicken was just... meh. It was crispy, but it was also flavorless and sort of dry. Add in the fact that the portion size to cost ratio isn't even close to that of other places in Chinatown, and I was a little bit let down. It's like eating an Entenmann's donut for the price of Doughnut Plant. I enjoyed eating it, I just wished I paid less for it.

Anyway... I'm not sure how to feel about the 便當 Bian Dang Truck. I think it's pimp that Taiwanese food is getting well deserved attention in NYC, and for sure they make a rockin' pork chop, but I really can't agree with the pricing structure (at regular price). I can understand that things in Manhattan naturally cost more, but man... I'd go back all the time if they toned back their prices just a bit. Also, they need to fix their fishcake. That shit is wack.
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Sai Men Tian Bu La (賽門甜不辣)

I used to be a really picky eater. True story. I realize that's a crappy story, but it does lead to this review... kinda. Anyway, in the past, there's no way I would've stepped into a place like this. Partially because I hated fish of any variety, and wouldn't eat anything that had been remotely close the ocean (and Taiwanese styled tempura is exactly that... essentially fried fish paste). Anyway, my mom somehow convinced me that one of her childhood favorite restaurants would be decent, and that I shouldn't dismiss it just because it has fish in it. I am so relieved that I didn't pass on this place, because since then, it has become on of my favorite places to visit when I'm in Taiwan. It's essentially the savory version of Meet Fresh for me... since I'll pretty much go in anytime I pass by.

The store itself has now become franchised, with locations all over Taipei, but really, if you want the original experience (and in my opinion the only one that stays true to the original taste), you'll want to go to the 西門 branch (West Gate). It also works out pretty conveniently that it's a rather active area, with plenty of shops and other things to eat. Just more excuses to go I guess. The storefront isn't all too attractive, and looks kinda crappy to be honest. If no one told me about it, I'd assume it was just another roadside shack kind of store, but it apparently has a long history. The entrance doubles as the cooking area, with various kinds of tempura and fish balls just floating in a constantly cooking broth. The back area has maybe 6 or 7 tables, again with the cheap metal stools you'd come to expect Asian establishments to have. No air conditioning, so you'll have to tough it out... but honestly there are few things better than having a piping hot bowl of tempura when it's over 100 degrees 0utside. Yum. For 50 NT ($1.50) you get what you see to the right. A mixed bowl of fried dumplings filled with fish paste, some fried fish paste patties, some fried fish paste sticks, fried tofu, and daikon radish. I know, I know... the names sound like crap, but how else can I translate what they are... it'd be pointless to say you get a bowl of tempura, that says nothing! The entire bowl is doused with a brown sauce consisting of chili paste, miso, sugar, and soy sauce (and probably other things), and imho, is superior to the white sauce of the halal carts. Yeah I said it. Side note... I think if anyone ever started a food truck selling this, they'd make an absolute killing, anyone want to finance me? As far as the delicious factor, they taste about the same as most Taiwanese tempura, which is to say mildly sweet and very light on the fishy taste. What sets 'Simon's' apart is that they texture is entirely smooth, with no odd chunks ruining the consistency, but at the same time there remains a certain elasticity which you look for in the skin (not unlike the snap of a hotdog skin). I guess what I'm trying to say is... the taste is spot on, and the texture sets it on a whole 'nother level. Obviously recommended by me. I go several times a week myself haha. Uh, as far as address... it's right outside of 西門盯's shopping area, but even I'd be hard pressed for a street name (check their website...? Sorry I'm lazy).

One last tidbit, there's a giant mural on the right side of the wall as you get in. If you read it, it teaches you the proper way of eating the bowl of tempura. They actually manage to make it sound like an art, but really, it's just... eat the tempura, notice that the bowl is still full of the sweet ass brown sauce (wow, that sounds like crap... but one of my friends Wayne did say "Everything that tastes awesome looks like dog shit," before he proceeded to list foods), go back up to the counter where you order, take ladle that is provided and fill your bowl with the soup broth that the tempura, tofu, and fish balls are cooked in. Sit back down and enjoy. Honestly, the soup is probably the best part. It tastes just like the tempura, since it's absorbed the flavors of all the components, and it's just oily enough to leave the taste in your mouth for hours after you eat it. Another case of... too much win for me to handle. Another side note... I'm tagging this as cart, since... well... I think this kind of food can mostly be found in night market carts (and like I said, would make for sick business venture in Manhattan).

It was wet outside today, and my shoes were still wet from yesterday. So kudos to me for even going out running! Hehe, no seriously though, it was a pretty good run all things considered. I finished with 6.33 miles on the day (though more if you count walking), and I found a second person who can outrun me here, therefore, I have a new target... and he is a middle aged man.

distance for the day: 6.33 miles
distance biked for the day: 0.00 miles

distance on the year: 303.62 miles
distance biked on the year: 142.68 miles
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