Sunday, March 13, 2011

Burgers and cake (Veselka)


There's something about the cheeseburger at Veselka that makes it one of my favorites in the city. Perhaps it's the incredible char they get on the crust combined with the delicate pink nether region sandwiched in the middle, maybe it's the deep smokiness that comes from expertly removing the patty just before it burns, maybe it's the seeded bun that pairs oh-so-perfectly with flavor of the beef, or maybe it's the cheesecake I get right afterward. It probably has a lot to do with the last one, but one way or another, as someone who eats more than his fair share of burgers... Veselka does it right. Their burger is erotic to my taste buds, gettin' them all tingly and aroused.

Pink innards

Look at that thing. Such a wanton burger. Just sitting there exposing its pink innards to everyone without shame. What a slut. The Veselka burger is exactly what a burger should be at its most raw and visceral form. Bread, meat, cheese (AMERICAN at a Ukranian diner = ironic)... done. Yet every part of that equation is done properly. As mentioned, it all starts with the perfectly cooked patty - smoky yet simultaneously juicy and delicate - a slice of fully melted and integrated cheese all sandwiched inside a voluptuous seeded bun that's filled with a cavernous nook of airy pockets. It's a cheap $9.50 that pleasures your mouth for a quicky... anytime you need it.


Then after you've finished your happy time with the burger, you turn to... the dessert menu. After a few minutes of creeping, you inevitably get drawn to her full bodied friend - the cheesecake. At $4.50, the value to price ratio is so high that it almost feels illegal. It's cheap, it's delicious, and it's heavy as fuck. Given the heft, halfway through you'll wonder if it was such a good idea to cheat your taste buds by two-timing with the cheesecake, but I assure you it is. It's just a standard cheesecake topped with a thin layer of sour cream topping, it's probably not the best you'll ever eat, but it pairs well with the burger for sure.

Veselka artwork

Yes indeedy, Veselka is love... if you're idea of love is a 30 minute torridly hot love affair with burgers and dairy-based desserts. This is probably wrong of me to say, but it's basically a whorehouse churning out pleasures one plate at a time. Does it feel wrong to be paying someone in exchange for a world of pleasure? Sure. Do I feel dirty rubbing beef juices all over my face? Yes. Do I go back time and time again? Like the Kool-Aid man says... OH YEAH.


Danny said...

damn you upped the game! full bodied friend! i shall find more ways... the black arts is drawing me in..

(also for some reason i always have problems with the google bot check)

Nicholas said...

Danny - now that they've hired me... I think I'm supposed to tell you not to do black hat SEO techniques or something?

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