Good Ol' Fashioned The (Donut Pub)

Oh shit, it is October already. It has been forevertown since I last posted, but fret not sweater-monkeys, this second-rate food poet has returned. Today, I will tell you a tale about a friend of mine. Some people are addicted to alcohol, some people are addicted to drugs, some people are addicted to sniffing markers back in grade school when they had cherry scented white erase ones (oh lord the cherry ones were the best). My friend Tia, she is addicted to DP... by which I mean doughnuts... from Donut Pub. Being addicted to doughnuts is not so different from the other three - the debilitating reliance upon a substance to give you that thrill of 'feeling alive,' the constant reminder about how long it's been since the last time you used, and the withdrawal you go through when it's not there. It's all really the same. Now this post isn't me being judgmental of my friend's choices, actually the opposite, the first step to recovery is to admit that you yourself have a problem - well here it is: I too am addicted to DP. By which I mean Donut Pub.

I've been in CA for the past week - it has been eight days since I last used, and I am currently in withdrawal, feelbadman.jpg. You're probably wondering - "Why don't you just go to Dunkin' Donuts or something and eat some doughnuts?" With all due respect, eat a bag of dicks. How dare you compare Dunkin' Donuts, Tim Horton's, or any other chain doughnut restaurant with Donut Pub? How dare you. Sure NYC has Doughnut Plant (another kind of DP), which is pretty great in its own right, but kinda tries too hard, and also Peter Pan Bakery, which is assclown far out in Greenpoint - seriously, not going to wait on the G for that one, but none of them have the same OG goodness that Donut Pub possesses. Plain and simple, if you want old fashioned and cheap wads of fried dough smothered in sugar, then there's no other option than to go to Donut Pub. It is one of a kind, irreplaceable, a crutch in my day-to-day function.

Remember how I wouldn't shut the hell up about Donuts Plus (another DP? Is this some sort of fucked up joke I'm missing?) back in Philly? Well Donut Pub is like that and more. Also it's in Chelsea so I'm less likely to get mugged.



Like I said, simplicity is the name of the game here. Most places do a standard glazed doughnut, with a plain sugar coating. Donut Pub doesn't deviate far from that design, but their plain glazed doughnut is actually dipped in a combination of honey and syrup. The end result is the tits. A marvelous blend of pure sweetness with a subtle hint of honey that stays moist even hours later, the glaze is literally the perfect mate to the pillowy soft fried dough it's draped on. While people always praise how Krispy Kreme doughnuts yield to biting and melt in your mouth, Donut Pub hits that perfect consistency where the resilience of texture is balanced by the softness of the dough matrix. If it sounds like I'm getting a stiffy just by writing about this ring of pure sensuality - you'd be right. My pants are little bit tight now. Mostly due to the weight I've gained by shoving these in my mouth, but partially because I'm flavoroused right now.



"That's too plain" you say? You're 100% wrong, but I respect the fact that you're entitled to your own dumbass opinions. Well maybe the Boston Creme is more your thing. Same concept applies here - a simple implementation that doesn't deviate from the expected, but is done so well that you'll feel a certain kind of warmness when you bite into it. A certain kind of tranquility that everything around you is okay, along with a slightly accelerated and painful heartbeat. This doughnut will get your blood pressure up, for better or worse.



They don't really fuck around all stingy like most doughnut places do. More often than not, a Boston Creme doughnuts are incredibly sad creations - half-filled and on the brink of collapse. Not theirs. Built upon the same fantastically chewy dough platform, they do nothing more than a simple dip in honey syrup, a heavy-handed application of chocolate glaze, and a ridiculous piping of creme that would shame everyone in the porn industry. They stuff that shit with way too much creme, and top it with way too much chocolate glaze, but that's part of the appeal of Donut Pub.



"But I need my daily fill of fruit and junk so I don't get Scurvy!" This is actually a concern for some people I know. No worries, Donut Pub has you health nuts covered too. In the form of their oh-so-scintillating jelly doughnuts. Not that it really needs explaining, but this is the exact same doughnut shell, but this time stuffed to the point of explosion with grape jelly and then dusted with just enough powdered sugar to make it look like you have a cocaine addiction, to distract people from the shameful fact that you're actually addicted to something like doughnuts.



Remember the "Whitest Kids You Know" skit about the Grapist? Their jelly doughnut is just like that. It'll grape you in the mouth, and leave stains all over your shirt. And you'll like it. There's really nothing special about the jelly here, but when combined with the doughnut and with the glaze, something magical happens. The synergy of sweet upon sweet upon tart makes for a refreshing departure from their other offerings. I don't normally like fruits in my desserts, but when I do... it's at Donut Pub.

So now you know my shameful secret. I am addicted to this hole in the wall doughnut joint. I go there late at night so people don't see me buying a half-dozen at a time to eat in my office with tears of ecstasy and regret streaming down my face. It is both the greatest doughnut place I've found as well as my greatest weakness. My only hope is to drag all of you into this same situation so I'm less embarrassed at my reliance on fried rings and pockets of dough. Sighs all around.

tl;dr - I love DP. Which again - in this context is referring to Donut Pub. They don't make fancy pants doughnuts containing Foie Gras or anything, they just make doughnuts. Their doughnuts are the tits. It has ruined my life in ways I cannot describe.

The Donut Pub
203 West 14th Street, Manhattan, NY 10011
Read more...

When mediocrity is okay (Schnipper's Quality Kitchen)

It finally happened. My coworkers found my blog. Not just my coworkers... managers, my manager's manager, my manager's manager's manager. Imagine how confused I was when one of them strolled up behind my desk and brought up the fact that I basically told him to "go eat a dick." Let me tell you, very. Scared, confused, aroused, all of the above. Once I realized I couldn't backpedal fast enough to claim that some other Asian guy working at Google in NYC wrote this idiotic piece of work (why the fuck did I put my picture on here?) - and finally accepted the fact that people could now read intimate and oddly specific embarrassing details about my life + that I now inevitably have to switch teams - I found myself thinking "shit son, if only my blog was a mediocre piece of crap, no one would ever find it. If only..."* Hey, that's just like Schnipper's Quality Kitchen! Despite the name, it's not nearly as dope as they'd want you to believe. They make an assload of different things - from burgers to hot dogs to mac and cheese. I wouldn't say any of them give me uncomfortable erections, but it's okay - because when it's a dish like mac and cheese with sloppy joe filling and a side of maple syrup dipping sauce? Well fuck it, it doesn't have to be good.



Look at all that cheese, ground up meats of questionable origins, and other quality shiz. Also breadcrumbs. Bitches love breadcrumb topping. I can't think of many things that make me more excited than a sauce on noodles with meat. Okay, so maybe that's a really low barrier to things that get me excited - but Schnipper's does a decent job with this dish. The mac and cheese is certainly better than what you would get out of a box of Easy Mac, but probably falls short of the fancier ish you might get at S'Mac. Average is average is average, but when you pair a cheesy confection of carbs with a heaping serving of sloppy joe, you can't qualify things simply by how good the components are - the combination of transcends simple addition. If you can, ask for some maple syrup dipping sauce (they have it for their sweet potato fries) to pour over this shit. Savory sweet tones of beef and Canada yo.



They also make some bullshit burger. It looks great, but calm your tits. I'm just a really good photographer (haha, sorry - I'm making a lot of asinine statements tonight). I wouldn't get it, but hey... if you're drunk and you want a burger, it's probably okay. I can't really think of anything good to say about it. It's slightly better than McDonald's I guess, but I'd also rather get two Big Macs of debatable quality. At this level, it's all about value, and McDonald's probably wins.



Dope ass sweet potato fries. Every single time I'm given the option between regular fries and sweet potato fries, I default to the latter. I feel like it's healthier for some reason. Then they give you maple syrup dipping sauce and the illusion is busted. Schnipper's sweet potato fries certainly don't scream quality - they're probably no better than you're standard bar fries - but the theme remains true, pair them with some stupid-ass dipping sauce and all of a sudden these crispy and hot sticks of mediocrity morph into something magically acceptable. Would I beat up 20 midgets to get a cup of them? Maybe. Is that a scenario I see playing out in my head? Definitely. Will it ever happen in real life? Probably not.

tl;dr - I made my blog too awesome and my coworkers found it. I should be ashamed, but I am surprisingly not. My career ceiling has been effectively set by them knowing I'm actually an idiot though. Should've been more mediocre... like Schnipper's. They make pretty good mac and cheese + sloppy joe filling. Ask for maple syrup dipping sauce regardless of what you order. Slather that shit on everything. Rub it on your clothing, it doubles as cologne.

Schnipper's Quality Kitchen
620 8th Avenue, New York, NY 10018

*disclaimer: I don't actually think this. I really just needed a way to segue into describing Schnipper's...
Read more...

HK-style French toast (Cha Chan Tang)

Do you know why I gave up on my PhD so prematurely? It's because innovating shit is hard. Every time you think you've come up with some pimp-ass novel idea, you go online to Google that shit, and 10 times out of 10, I bet you some butthole in Turkmenistan has already done it. I frequently found myself thinking "fuck that guy, why didn't I think of that?" What does this stupid story about one of my life's greatest failures have to do with food? Well, the French toast that they serve at Cha Chan Tang is kinda like that. For the majority of my life, I've enjoyed my French toast the traditionally defined (and already delicious) way - simply bread that's fried in an egg-laden batter. Butter, oil, bread, and eggs... that shit was pretty dope already, when suddenly, some guy halfway around the world in Hong Kong decided "shit son. All junk tastes better when peanut butter is involved!" and proceeded to go ape-shit in the kitchen and fucked some PB between some bread, fried it, and put some syrup on top. Not just any syrup... golden maltose syrup. Why is that better? Because butter. No, seriously - hell if I know - it just is.



What treasures might hide inside that golden crust of heart disease and high cholesterol?

On the exterior, this appears to be a regular piece of French toast. Sure, it looks perfectly goldened, and yeah it looks crispier than a freshly ironed shirt, but to say that it's "slightly better than that junk that you get at IHOP" would be like slapping your mother in the face. Legitimately disrespectful to how sick this dish is... also to your mother, who is probably a lovely person. But inside this crisp, oil-drenched, butter-laden, deep-fried egg on carbohydrate love train is a dark dark secret, one full of monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats. Ooh baby. I love it when foods get all chemically sexy and jizz.



What's really good? Peanut butter. I think they actually butter the insides of the bread (in addition to the giant pat they melt on top) before applying the peanut butter, so it's got that going for it too. Actually, to be honest, I can't really tell, because basically the entire thing is a hot mess of porous bread soaked with various types of oil products. When you that small dish of maltose syrup on top... GG, shit gets intense. Like camping. Maltose syrup has somewhat of a distinct taste and is far more viscous than the standard grade-A maple you might get from a squeeze bottle - combining it with the subtle notes of savory from the egg and the sweet saltiness of the pb makes for a strange flavor profile that's as delicious as it is confusing. Let's put it this way, it's kind of similar to how you might feel if your best friend's little sister is really attractive, but at the same time looks kind of like him, so it's as creepy as it is awesome. Exactly like that.



They also have pork chop sandwiches (obligatory G.I. Joe PSA video...). Now I'm not going to talk shit about $4 sandwich that has a pork chop inside, but I wasn't exactly as impressed with this as I was with the PB French toast. In Hong Kong, they do pork cutlet sandwiches too... which at the time I wasn't so hot on. Now, thinking back, those bitches are pretty great for $2 a piece. At Cha Chan Tang, they put healthy stuff in there. Vegetables and whatnot (WTF tomatoes). I'm not really okay with that. They also use non-buttered plain white bread, which is kind of a confusing to me since they butter the crap out of everything else. Lame. At least they cut off the crust. I guess I lied, I pretty much talked shit about this sandwich for an entire paragraph - don't get it if you go.



Apparently, people in Hong Kong also know how to cook Portuguese stuff (probably from being occupied for so long. Haha owned). There's this dish on the menu called 'Portuguese chicken casserole' which, unsurprisingly, comprises of chicken, rice, and cheese. I don't really know what else really goes into this dish, but I know when it came to the table... all I could think was "holy crap, that looks like someone took a dump over some rice and reheated it in an oven with cheese." Good thing it didn't taste that way. Flavorwise, it's like a cream of chicken blend mixed with cheese that also has hints of curry. The strong taste of spices complements the smoothness of the dairy pretty well, and I really have nothing but awesome memories of this aside from the visuals. Again, this just solidifies my unified theory of "foods that look like shit taste dope."



Have you ever had fried squid with pepper and salt? No? Wow, your life up to this point must've sucked pretty badly. This is one of those dishes that's synonymous with street food in almost all of Asia. I know Taiwan has it, and I guess Hong Kong does too. I bet Koreans love this 'ish too. It's nothing complex in execution, but there's something fantastically delicious in the simplicity. The squid itself is kind of rubbery and provides that eraser-like texture I want in all of my foods. With just a hint of seafood flavor, what you're mostly tasting is breadcrumbs doped with salt and pepper. It's kinda like eating fried chicken skin (the best part), but having something elastic to chew on at the same time. I realize this all sounds pretty stupid and probably off-putting, but I assure you it's not. Cha Chan Tang's version certainly could be better (it's neither crispy nor spiced enough), but it's adequate for satiating that slight bit of nostalgia. Additional unnecessary commentary: yes, I did start scratching shortly after consumption. Kind of worth it.

tl;dr - Innovating shit is mad hard. Good job to the guy who decided to add peanut butter to French toast. Also maltose syrup instead of maple. Maple can eat a dick. Basically, go to Cha Chan Tang and get yourself some French toast and bubble tea. Dope combination is dope.

Cha Chan Tang
45 Mott Street, New York, 10013
Read more...

Bacon, mac & cheese, and pancakes (Shopsin's)

The other day I came across this video - don't ask me how or why - of Evgeni Plushenko's exhibition performance from when he won the gold medal at the World Championships in Vancouver. For the women who have just watched that video, you're welcome. For the men, you are now probably gay. No, but seriously... what I actually took away from that performance is that when you're the best at what you do - you can do whatever the fuck you want and get away with it. And it will be good. Now the parallel I want to draw here is that, when it comes to food, Shopsin's is Evgeni Plushenko. Kenny Shopsin can basically do whatever the fuck he wants, and I will 99% likely be impressed.

Why do I say this? Because some assclowns take issue with way Shopsin's runs his joint - strict hours, specific policies about seating, and a generally curt attitude when it comes to ordering. Listen, if you're pimping out the most delicious of delicious dishes, then as far as I care... you can be as big a douche as you want to be to me. Good food is good food. I can respect talent regardless of personality. Dumbasses need to understand this.



I know what you're thinking. "The fuck is this shit? How can I get my hands on one?" Let me drop some truth on you. This is the "Mo'Betta." It is the illegitimate lovechild of two mac & cheese infused pancakes that are all moist and shit, crispy-ass thick-cut maple bacon, and a whole buttload of scrambled eggs that are buttery as fuck. Basically, it's like Viagra for your mouth, which sounds inappropriate, but it's okay... because it has all the parts of a balanced breakfast. Almost as if it were healthy, almost. This is a combination of things that I love with zero moderation built into it, and it is glorious. If you're thinking that you could probably assemble something similar at home... you'd be wrong. Usually I talk about things in which the final product exceeds the sum of the parts, but unlike those lame-ass Power Rangers - always getting their asses beat down when they're by themselves - with the Mo'Betta... that's simply not true.



Also this shit. "Blisters on my Sisters." Now, I'm not entirely clear on why the sister has blisters (I'm sure the back story is 100% fucked up), but it really doesn't matter once you shovel some of this junk in your mouth. It's the combination of a couple of fried eggs, cheddar cheese, rice, beans, greens, and corn tortilla underneath. Basically it's a breakfast burrito that's been spread out super slutty-like for everyone to look at. You can order it in a variety of levels of spicy, but unless you're itching for your asshole to burn, I'd keep it to a 7 or below. Not much to say that you probably can't deduce from the list of components, but I will add that this basically makes Chipotle burritos look straight dumb.



The pinnacle of Shopsin's skills might exist entirely in their ability to churn out rings of fried dough. To say their fresh doughnuts are dope would be an understatement. They are the tits of sugar doughnuts. They come out piping hot, and will burn your tongue with the sensation of a koala with chlamydia peeing. Sure, they only really make the one kind of super-traditional doughnut, but their execution is spot on. When it comes to a plain sugar doughnut, they can do no wrong as far as I'm concerned. To make it this dish just slightly more sensual than it already is, they pair these bitches with a giant dish of freshly whipped cream. So fresh, it's like they milked the cow directly into my mouth. Fried dough + whipped cream = instant boner. Mad awkward in the middle of brunch. Not entirely unlike watching the Evgeni Plushenko video.

tl;dr - Shopsin's is a quaint little shop in Essex Market that makes weird combinations of breakfast/brunch type foods. Sometimes they might come off as assholes, but whatever... they can cook up some dope-ass food. You should go there, and be honored if they yell at you. To all the haters: go eat a dick.

Shopsin's
120 Essex St, New York, 10002
Read more...

Burgers and cake (Veselka)

There's something about the cheeseburger at Veselka that makes it one of my favorites in the city. Perhaps it's the incredible char they get on the crust combined with the delicate pink nether region sandwiched in the middle, maybe it's the deep smokiness that comes from expertly removing the patty just before it burns, maybe it's the seeded bun that pairs oh-so-perfectly with flavor of the beef, or maybe it's the cheesecake I get right afterward. It probably has a lot to do with the last one, but one way or another, as someone who eats more than his fair share of burgers... Veselka does it right. Their burger is erotic to my taste buds, gettin' them all tingly and aroused.



Look at that thing. Such a wanton burger. Just sitting there exposing its pink innards to everyone without shame. What a slut. The Veselka burger is exactly what a burger should be at its most raw and visceral form. Bread, meat, cheese (AMERICAN at a Ukranian diner = ironic)... done. Yet every part of that equation is done properly. As mentioned, it all starts with the perfectly cooked patty - smoky yet simultaneously juicy and delicate - a slice of fully melted and integrated cheese all sandwiched inside a voluptuous seeded bun that's filled with a cavernous nook of airy pockets. It's a cheap $9.50 that pleasures your mouth for a quicky... anytime you need it.



Then after you've finished your happy time with the burger, you turn to... the dessert menu. After a few minutes of creeping, you inevitably get drawn to her full bodied friend - the cheesecake. At $4.50, the value to price ratio is so high that it almost feels illegal. It's cheap, it's delicious, and it's heavy as fuck. Given the heft, halfway through you'll wonder if it was such a good idea to cheat your taste buds by two-timing with the cheesecake, but I assure you it is. It's just a standard cheesecake topped with a thin layer of sour cream topping, it's probably not the best you'll ever eat, but it pairs well with the burger for sure.



Yes indeedy, Veselka is love... if you're idea of love is a 30 minute torridly hot love affair with burgers and dairy-based desserts. This is probably wrong of me to say, but it's basically a whorehouse churning out pleasures one plate at a time. Does it feel wrong to be paying someone in exchange for a world of pleasure? Sure. Do I feel dirty rubbing beef juices all over my face? Yes. Do I go back time and time again? Like the Kool-Aid man says... OH YEAH.
Read more...

Fu Hang revisited (阜杭豆漿)

I'm thoroughly confused by the kids that live here sometimes. Despite the culinary brilliance that is 燒餅油條 (shao bing you tiao), most of them will still choose to grab breakfast from McDonald's or 7-11. While there's nothing fundamentally wrong with that (the rice balls from 7-11 are damn good), it just feels... off. Anyway, I really don't think I write about traditional Taiwanese breakfast nearly enough (although I did go here before). It's the stuff of champions. When you fry dough and shove it inside of baked dough, of course it'll taste good. There's not much wrong with that equation. When you pair that with a bowl of sweet warm soy milk, it becomes pretty much the perfect breakfast.



A line of Chinese people! If Asians are willing to wait on line, then there's probably a good reason...

So I revisited the place on 杭州南路 called 阜杭豆漿 (Fu Hang Dou Jiang). The fried cruller with 厚餅 (hou bing) is still excellent. The cruller itself wasn't awe inspiring, since they're pre-fried to handle demand, but that's acceptable, since it's far out shined by the outer bread for which they're known. Delightfully sweet, the bread is speckled with green scallions for an additional savory aspect. The outside is toasted to a light crisp, which yields to a soft center that pulls apart in strands. Perfect in every way (which kind of makes you wonder how good it'd be with a freshly fried 油條). Hm...



Like I said, when paired with a bowl of warm soy milk (sweet or savory varieties available), it's pretty much an unbeatable combo. I don't think there's much to say about soy milk (although Asian soy milk is far different from the kind you'd imagine in a carton), but theirs is pretty well known for its nutty flavor. In the best explanation I can come up with, it tastes like someone forgot about a pot on the stove, and turned it off after it just started to burn. No, that doesn't sound like something you'd want to replicate, but it does taste good. Anyway, point of this post...? Traditional Taiwanese breakfast is awesome, kids should eat here instead of McDonald's, and NYC needs to start serving this.

PS - Last time I went, it looked super crappy. If the food weren't so freakin' good, I doubt anyone would want to eat their breakfast in such a depressing location. When I went this time, they had bought out the entire floor and renovated the entire thing. So if you went back when it was shitty, revisit and prepare to be impressed.
Read more...

Pork cutlet sandwiches at Lan Fong Yuen (蘭芳園)

Multiple people mentioned Lan Fong Yuen (蘭芳園)as a place I had to visit during my stay in Hong Kong. They couldn't really explain what was so great about it, aside from the fact that they served some sort of pork cutlet sandwich (from what I gathered, it was essentially an Asian diner). That vague description of a food item just elicited memories of a certain video. "My god did that smell good." Anyway, I happened upon this place by accident when I suddenly remembered I was supposed to eat there. How could this go badly? Pork + bread = good... always.



If the store front doesn't look too familiar, it's because I got lazy and went to the one in Kowloon. I only had 2 days to spend eating stuff, so I really didn't have the time to run off to Hong Kong island to look for the original, although I was dangerously close when I visited Victoria peak. Oh well, I'm sure it tastes the same (or so I tell myself).

Anyway, my order consisted of the sandwich you see at the top, which is called 豬扒包 (zhu pa bao). Basically it translates to pork stuffed bun. Not a tremendously detailed description, but like I said, I like pork, and I like bread. Win.



So what you see is what you get. The sandwich itself is pretty modest in size. I forget what I paid for it exactly, but it was around 15 HKD (~$2), so that seems pretty fair. In all honesty, if you bought 3 and stacked them together, it'd probably rival a Big Mac in size. Hmm, I probably should've done that. Anyway, the bun itself is a plain seeded white hamburger bun, lightly toasted. Nothing special, just a generic bun. Inside, the bottom layer is spread with butter (another thing HK does well... they butter the crap out of everything), a couple of tomatoes, and a thin spread of mayo (not Kewpie, but sweetened). The meat is comprised of multiple smaller pieces of marinated pork chop. Not the thick cutlet kind associated with Japanese cuisine, but rather... the kind you'd find in Taiwanese shops, pounded ultra thin, simmered in pork soy broth, then pan fried. Topped with another dollop of mayo (seriously, they don't understand the idea of heart disease), the sandwich is finally capped with the top of the bun. My opinion is this, it's nothing life changing, and nothing that would make me say "HOLY CRAP I NEED MORE PORK CUTLET SANDWICH," but for $2, it's definitely worth trying, and something I'd definitely eat again if I were in HK.



I also got the HK take on bubble tea. Yeah, there are multiple interpretations of bubble tea in Asia. Go figure. Called 絲襪奶茶 or 'pantyhose milk tea,' the way they make it there is apparently to strain it through a cloth that's as fine as pantyhose, leaving a milk tea that is unrivaled in it's smooth texture. That's cool. I can't really tell the difference in texture. I can tell you that it's probably twice as expensive as a larger cup in Taiwan though. I feel ripped off, but then again, it's one of Lan Fong Yuen's specialties, so I had to at least try it. That said, it tastes fine and good (you're an idiot if you screw up mixing tea and milk), but it doesn't warrant the price tag. Or maybe I've been spoiled by Taiwan. Hm...
Read more...

翠華餐廳 (Tsui Wah Restaurant)

I guess I'll finally get around to posting about the 2 days I spent in Hong Kong. Starting with 翠華餐廳 (Tsui Wah Restaurant). I can't really think of an equivalent for comparison, but I suppose it would be the equivalent of IHOP in America, or 永和豆漿大王 in Taiwan (sort of), in the sense that it's basically a breakfast/brunch chain that also serves dinner type entrees. I guess it's kind of silly that the first restaurant I'd go to would be some sort of commercialized chain restaurant, but I kept complaining that I hadn't eaten anything all day (which is a lie, since they gave us lunch on the flight), so naturally I ate at the first place that I saw. So about the food...

Like I said, Tsui Wah is basically a pseudo-HK diner. They serve a pretty wide variety of things (most of which I can't recall), but mostly brunch type food. I ordered their Malaysian beef curry (which at 42 HKD is basically ~$6). Holy Jesus, it's like the greatest curry ever. Hrm, maybe that's an exaggeration, but it's certainly very good. You're given a plate with a giant scoop of white rice on a plate, and another big plate of curry beef. Awesome... two plates. The beef curry is made with an assortment of different cuts of beef, lots of tendon, and some lean pieces, all cooked to a degree of softness that they fall apart when picked at with chopsticks. This sits in a pool of heavenly orange curry that is remarkably strong in flavor, and spicy to say the least. I'm bad at describing things, but if you mixed Indian curry with Japanese curry, you'd be getting close to what this dish tastes like. It doesn't really matter, it tasted real good... that's all that matters.



One of the other things I got was condensed milk - butter toast (I don't know why the colors are wonky... I tried fixing them, but evidently I failed). Genius. Whoever was the first person who decided "putting butter on my toast isn't quite that fattening, let me drizzle condensed milk on too" is my hero. The taste of savory sweet breads isn't really foreign to Asian bakeries, but having a semi-crunchy roll with warm sweet goo is quite the experience. QUICK! Go grab toast and make it now. You're welcome.

As far as this restaurant? It's pretty easy to find since there's multiple locations, and despite the conventional thinking of avoiding chain restaurants when traveling, well... screw that. They have condensed milk - butter bread... and curry to die for.
Read more...

Veselka (home of the burger porns)

On the same day that I went to Momofuku, I told my sister that I would very much like to go to Veselka. I'd heard incredible things about their burger (and while I had eaten it before, it delivered to me... cold and soggy from condensation), their desserts, and about the quaintness of the shop itself. So over we trekked (along with one of her classmates who happens to love cheesecake) for lunch. Unsurprisingly it was somewhat packed given the time, but goddamnit, I had never been before... and I was leaving in less than a week! I WANTED MY UKRAINIAN BURGER. So we waited the 20 or so minutes for a table, and after many names being called that had given up on waiting, we were finally seated.



While I had a firm plan on what I wanted to order, my sister and her friend Victoria grazed over the menu, ultimately deciding on the salmon omelet, with some sort of potato pancake side. I guess they enjoyed it, I had no part of it, so I can't pass and judgment on how good it was (the idea of soft fish flesh being cooked into eggs just doesn't appeal to me... sorry!). Photo credits here don't even belong to me. Despite taking 4 or 5, I ended up using the singular photo that Victoria snapped. I guess I should work on the whole photography thing haha.



Burger innards! Like I said, I knew what I wanted. Cheeseburger. American cheese. Deluxe. I didn't want my last impression of Veselka to be that limp burger I had sophomore year. In any case, I asked for it medium (what? I don't like bloody burgers), and they obliged perfectly. The center was just barely cooked through, and the outside had a delightfully smokey aftertaste. There was an ever so slight crunch on patty from the charring, and the cheese was melted homogeneously across the bias of the top. I really like this burger. If I had to find fault with it, it would only be that the bread is slightly dry... and that they don't assemble it for you, but that's nitpicking. At $12 (I think), it's certainly a pretty good value given the size and quality.



There were fries too. Given the choice between chips, fries, and sweet potato fries, I went with the default. They were okay, slightly thicker than I prefer (I love McDonald's fries), and well textured with a crunchy greeting yielding to soft innards. They accidentally snuck some sweet potato fries onto my plate, and that is my major regret. Those are pure egg whites. If I could reorder, I would go with that next time.



I would've been content with that for a meal, I mean... I did have a slice of crack pie prior to, but upon some goading by Victoria, more dessert was ordered. She got the cheesecake (which I thought about ordering, but figured I could take more pictures if I got something different). I did try this, and it's a very heavy cheesecake, with a filling that's very dense and satisfying to cut through. A very subtle tartness is pierced by a sweetness short of overwhelming, it was a pretty good balance, and a suitable follow up to greasy burger goodness. It's also not a wallet killer, although I'm not sure it's great for the heart.



After some debate, I settled on the triple chocolate mousse. I thought about getting the Kutia(?), but some quick research yielded that it was a dessert that was also served at funerals... which was a turn off. Anyway, this was the polar opposite of the cheesecake. It was light and airy, and the chocolate flavor was strong in scent, but mild in taste. What can I say, I like most desserts, and this is no different (I'm not very good at discerning what are good and bad sweets... they're all good to me haha). The chocolate thingy on the side was a nice complement to the mousse, as it was definitely on the sweet side. Oh yeah, the crème fraiche on the side... not ice cream. Duly noted.

All in all, I really like Veselka. Which is kind of an appropriate farewell for me from NYC food for a while, since it left a good taste in my mouth. Uh, my suggestion... go here?
Read more...