Ben's Chili Bowl (more food that looks like poo)

Last April, I had a chance to visit DC on a business trip (how's that for backlogged!) and instead of focusing on what I was supposed to actually accomplish for work, my mind drifted instead to what I wanted to eat. The only thing that actually came to mind was Ben's Chili Bowl, a joint made famous by President Obama for something called the "half smoke." While I never really expect any hot dog to transcend all culinary achievement, I was definitely intrigued when I saw Danny's photo of it - noting that it looks like a poo covered hot dog. Going by my faithful doctrine, that meant one thing: it had to be good. Also I'm a huge fan of processed meat and chili, so there really wasn't much that could go wrong here. Plus, look at that line! While that would normally be a deterrent in Chinatown, for non-Asian cuisine? That many people crowding a single establishment gives me a food-stiffy. What glory does this pseudo-shit covered meat amalgam hide? Is it as wonderful as our dear leader say it is?

That shit is so cash.



That said, I'm also the type of guy who's okay with NYC hot dog carts (not with the price, but with the taste), questionable street meat, and weird deli sandwiches - so take whatever I say about the half smoke with a grain of salt, but shit... they've got their chili and hot dog knowledge down. Sure, NYC has Crif Dog, which for all intents and purposes is 'okay,' and we have Japadog, which I think is insanely overpriced for what it is, but is still good, but whoever Ben is... he basically shits on them when it comes to dog tech.



THIS IS 'MERICUH. Look at this All-American meal - an order of a half smoke, a giant bowl of perfectly golden fries, and a huge-ass chocolate shake. I'd be unpatriotic if I didn't eat it all. And you know what? It was wonderful. Surrounded by freedom, I hugged my arteries with the love of thousands of calories. The delicious sweetness of hearty chili, whose consistency was halfway between lentil and meat, combined with a saltiness unmistakably associated with heavily processed meats bundled oh-so-tight in a snappy casing overwhelmed my tasted buds with flavor (and my heart with imminent pain). Past that... it was inevitable, Ben's half smoke would surely deliver freedom to my bowels in a way that hasn't been seen since we signed the Declaration of Independence. Just kidding, it wasn't that monumental, but it was damn good. At the end of the day, it's just a hot dog covered with chili, but me saying that alone should be good enough. Both those things are fucking fantastic and should need no further endorsement.

tl;dr - I found more food that looks like poo, this time it's a chili dog that some dude named Obama fucking loves. It tastes like Freedom, and will likely liberate your asshole the next day.

Ben's Chili Bowl
1213 U Street Northwest, Washington, DC 20009
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Cafe de Coral (大家樂)

Only in Hong Kong... would a chicken wing and a piece of French toast qualify as a meal. On the suggestion of more than a few, I was told I had to make a trip to Cafe Coral, otherwise known as 大家樂 (Da Jia Le). As explained, Cafe Coral was basically the Asian equivalent of McDonald's. This analogy never really made sense to me, since... there are already McDonald's all over Asia, but I guess the gist of it was that they're all over the place. In any case, I didn't actually get a chance to try it during the span of my 2 days, so I was pretty ecstatic when I heard there was one in the HK airport.

I'm not entirely sure what I was thinking, but when I read the menu, all that went through my head was, French toast... good... and roast chicken wing... good. Plus they came with coffee. Uh, what's there to say about this? The toast is pretty good, nice and fluffy with a fresh buttery crust. It possessed that characteristic butter/milky taste that all Asian breads have. It comes with jam (and more butter!), but I don't think you need it... unless your life goal is to have multiple gastric bypasses. The chicken wing was just a tease. Really good sweet soy sauce lathered on top of a wing with just enough meat to make you hate the person who suggested wing over breast.



Chinese people seriously confuse me at times. In another combination that they dub a 'meal,' you get a fried chicken cutlet, a hot dog, and a butter roll. Let me summarize this for you. Cutlet = supremely oily, but oddly intoxicating (possibly from the constriction of my arteries). Hot dog... uh, just a hot dog? Ditto on the roll. I tried in vain to make a fried chicken, hot dog, butter sandwich, but it wasn't meant to be. Total price of both combo sets... 35 HKD ($4.50), and definitely a mistake. Damn, I can't believe the last thing I ate in HK was this. Oh well, I guess that's another reason to go back. To wash the sour taste of Cafe Coral out of my thoughts.

PS - maybe I'm not giving them a fair chance, they had plenty of 'normal' roast meat and rice combos. Knowing my luck, I probably just picked the 2 duds in their entire lineup.
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Gray's Papaya at 4 am

Like I said before, I have really good friends. They tend to accept my habits of wanting to go to random restaurants with 0 reviews, and my tendencies to make them wait as I photograph not only my food, but theirs as well. With that said, they're also sometimes morons. Case in point, the clown who walked into my photo of the storefront up top. Now, I like really like hot dogs (the fact that back to back posts are of wieners is just coincidence though). When I was a kid, my parents would always cook 2 packs of them, just because I'd always complain that there wasn't enough for 4 people. Hm, maybe I can blame my parents for being overweight through college. In any case, when my friend asked if I wanted to go to Gray's Papaya at 4 am (which in retrospect was an incredibly stupid proposal), I reluctantly folded and said yes. Now for the food...



Backstory, freshman year I went to Gray's once. I walked there from 116th with someone I lived with at the time. The recession special was $2.75 and got you 2 franks with a special house drink. Fast forward to 2010, and all of a sudden, the recession special is $4. Plus tax. That's not even a special! Anyway, I couldn't not get food just because I was slightly irked at the price change, so I went with the default order, with a banana daiquiri as my drink of choice. The hot dogs themselves were okay, certainly not "the best in NYC" or whatever slogan they use. They had appropriate snap from the skin, and were just salty enough to make me glad I had a drink. The toppings of sauerkraut and onions kind of destroyed it though. Mainly the onions. The additional amount of sauce slathered over top made the thing taste more like mustard and tabasco than meat, and if I were to ever order again in the future, I would pass on the onions. Eh, what can I say, I wasn't all that impressed. Then again I know many Papaya dog loyalists who will inevitably hate this post, I just don't see why.
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Crif Dogs and why I love my friends

I base 95% of my friendships on food. No, actually that's probably phrasing it incorrectly, but 95% of my friends accommodate to my quirks when it comes to food, whether it be going to new restaurants to try random things, or walking 20 blocks to get fried chicken with me at 3 am. Needless to say, I'm going to be sad that I'm moving away from such a great group of people next year. Why is the intro to this post so uber depressing? Well, on one occasion where I didn't go downtown with them, Wayne remembered that I had wanted to go to Crif Dog for more than a while, so I got a surprise phone call, and a delivery back to the dorm. About an hour later, my Tsunami dog (above) and an order of cheese tater tots arrived.



First off, I'd like to apologize for the photography. The 45 minute train ride back probably doesn't do anything to make the dogs look any more appetizing, and I'm pretty sure the sogginess that I portrayed is doing just wonders for their image. In any case, The Tsunami is described as "a house dog, bacon wrapped, with teriyaki, pineapple & green onions." While it truly looks nothing like the image on the website, it was as described. A nice and semi-crispy wiener wrapped in bacon, with a thick pineapple and teriyaki sauce. The combination of sweet and savory was balanced pretty well, with nothing coming through as overwhelming. A pleasant surprise, and something I'd definitely order again. Which... was not true for the chili dog. It wasn't mine, but I ended up with a bite of it anyway. Maybe it was a single hit or miss thing, but the chili was relatively pasty, with an overwhelming textural consistency equivalent to that of canned beans (at least to me). I'm not in love with beans (unless they're on top of ice and covered with condensed milk), so I didn't really enjoy this one. To each their own, I know for a fact that other people name this as their favorite. Meh.



Argh! Tater tots... with cheese. Disclaimer, I'm sure these are absolutely phenomenal when they first come out of the fryer. The time in transit however, didn't treat these kindly. The cheese ended up being a solid chunk of gelatinous blob, and the tots themselves were kind of mushy from the humidity. If I were at Crif Dog in person, I would probably complement my hot dog with a side order of these, but pass if you're not going to eat immediately.
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